No Yule Like an Old Yule
Perhaps this is the year for those of us who keep insisting that the “old-fashioned Christmases were more fun” to have one and get it out of our systems. It isn't hard if we try.
Shove back thermostat to about 40 degrees or switch off furnace entirely. This will give the windows a picturesque frosting and cool the house to a temperature in keeping with “the good old days.”
The Christmas tree should be cut down with a dull axe in City Park or somewhere and dragged home through the snow over our shoulder. If we can manage a live goose under our free arm at the same time, this will add to the merriment.
Christmas cards we send should carry two cents postage: that's all it used to cost, so might as well be consistent.
Have on hand a bright new penny for the newsboy when he comes to wish us a Merry Christmas. It will brighten his chubby face and assure us of improved service next year.
Preparations for the Yule feast must get under way around 4 A.M. with bread baking in a coal-fired kitchen range especially installed for the day (see Hertz Rent-All); it should have a clogged flue.
All kinfolk invited for Christmas dinner must remain underfoot for at least a week. That is how it was when they used to come by sleigh and stage coach.
Gifts for the kiddies should be limited to woolen mittens and an orange. They will remember this “old-fashioned Christmas” for the rest of their lives.
And they won't let us forget it either.